Hello... i know its been awhile since i last wrote. Since I didn't have much good things to write, I didn't want to rant or talk about negative things. If you have gone to my so called other blog you would know that I am trying to stay positive.
Unfortunately, this entry doesn't bring much good news either except for one good news :) I will leave that to the last in this post.
As you know, I have been struggling for along time now in my work environment. For those who knows me this have been happening since my other company. Somehow, I have this ability to attract all the wrong manager/supervisor , etc.
For these 4 years, I would say I have achieved more than I ever had in my previous company. I am doing well but unfortunately, eventho my boss recognizes it but those above locally don't. In this place where i work, ethnicity plays the ultimate part. Its disappointing. boss wants to move me up but my so called local manager doesn't want. He rather move someone from outside the team into the my team when my TL moves out. Today I had a heart to heart talk with my boss initiated by me, thats how i found out all these things. This is also the first time I poured out my true feelings, my thoughts after 4 years reporting to boss. I knew of this plan since May. since then it had been silence. Today it was revealed that she found out 3 weeks ago, that my so called local manager plans to execute this. Boss told me he/she had wanted to tell me so that i won't be disappointed if this doesn't materialize. I told boss I already had the feeling that my local manager would do this when boss first told me. Boss just smiled. Anyways, boss said boss would move me out if this moving up doesn't happen.
In a way, I am sad but in another perspective, it might turn out to be good, IF and WHEN i get to move. I hope all these don't just end up as words and merely words.
I am trying to digest this and hope that something good will come out of this. And some impartial and fair person will see and finally give me whats deserving of my hard work.
As per this Sunday's reading at church, we know not of what God's plan are for us... We are not at that level who can understand why God does this and that.
And i want to have faith that God knows that I am hurting now and that He knows that I have done my best but my best isn't good enough to these ppl who only see color above everything else.
Lastly I will be going on vacation this Thursday.... One good vacation i hope will at least heal this brokenness.